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11/09/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8880
Daily Joke: No One Available en Espanol
A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he’d left the light on in the garden shed – she could see it from the bedroom window. But he said that he hadn’t been in the shed that day. He looked himself, and there were people in the shed, stealing things.
He rang the police, but they told him that no-one was in his area, so no-one was available to catch the thieves. He said ok, hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again.
“Hello. I just rang you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed? Well, you don’t have to worry about them now, I’ve just shot them all.”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to this man: “I thought you said you’d shot them!”
He replied: “I thought you said there was no-one available!”
11/08/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8879
Daily Joke: How to get more business en Espanol
When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?”
“Actually, it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.”
11/07/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8878
Daily Joke: Low Bridge en Espanol
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said “low bridge ahead.”
Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a rock solid “Trucker’s Wedgie.”
Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver said, “No officer,… I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”
11/06/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8877
Daily Joke: Why Aging Isn’t So Bad en Espanol
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
11/05/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8876
Daily Joke: Hearing Aid en Espanol
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. “How much do they run?” he asked the clerk.
“That depends,” said the salesman. “They run from $2.00 to $2,000.”
“Let’s see the $2.00 model,” he said.
The clerk put the device around the man’s neck. “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket,” he instructed.
“How does it work?” the customer asked.
“For $2.00, it doesn’t work,” the salesman replied. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder!”
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