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10/30/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8870
Daily Joke: A Little Good Night Kiss en Espanol
All Bill asked for was a little good-night kiss, but Anne haughtily rebuffed him with, “I don’t do that sort of thing on my first date!”
“Well,” Bill replied with sarcasm, “how about on your last date?”
10/29/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8869
Daily Joke: What’s Wrong en Espanol
The man told his doctor he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said.
“Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what’s wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “You’re just a plain old lazy fart.”
“Thank You.” said the man. “Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!”
10/28/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8868
Daily Joke: Divorced Barbie en Espanol
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”
The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”
“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…”
10/27/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8867
Daily Joke: Fastest thing in the world en Espanol
There were four guys who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. They were from Harvard, Yale, MIT, and Stanford. The company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.
Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told the men that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview the next day, and that he would ask each one of them the same question. Whoever answered the question the best would be the one hired. All applicants agreed that this was fair.
The next day, the first applicant called in was from Harvard. The president posed the question, “What is the fastest thing in the world?”
The young man thought for a moment and replied, “That would have to be a thought.”
“Why do you say that?” asked the president.
“Well, a thought takes no time at all…it is in your mind in an instant, then gone again.”
“Ahh, very good. Thank you,” replied the president.
Next the same question was posed to the young man from Yale, “What is the fastest thing in the world?”
The young man paused and replied, “That would have to be a blink.”
“Why?” asked the president.
“Because you don’t even think about a blink, it’s just a reflex. You do it in an instant.”
The president thanked him, then called in the next person.
The young man from MIT was asked what the fastest thing in the world was, and after hesitating for a brief moment, he replied, “I would have to say electricity. Why? Because a man can flip a switch, and immediately, three miles away a light will go on.”
“I see, very good,” replied the president.
Then, the young man from Stanford was called in. He, too, was asked, “What is the fastest thing in the world?”
“That’s easy…” he replied, “that would have to be diarrhea!”
Rather stunned, the president asked, “Why do you say that?”
“Well, last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it came out!!!!!”
10/26/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8866
Daily Joke: Wallpaper en Espanol
A fellow decided to decorate his bedroom. He wasn’t sure how many rolls of wallpaper he would need but he knew that the Irishman who lived next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
“Murphy,” he asked, “How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?”
“Ten” said Murphy.
So the fellow bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job. It looked wonderful, but he had 2 rolls of wallpaper left over.
“Murphy,” he said. “I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I’ve got 2 left over!”
“That’s funny,” said Murphy. “So did I.”
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