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03/28/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18235
A dad was having a conversation with his 8 year old son Little Johnny about what he would like to be when he grew up.
He went over many job ideas, when soon, he came out with,
“I’d like to be a babysitter when I grow up.”
Dad asked him, “Why a babysitter?”
“It’s the only job where you get to play, watch TV, nap and they pay you for it,”
he replied.
“That would be great!”
03/27/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18231
A poodle and a collie are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend.
“My life is a mess,” he says.
“My owner is mean, my girlfriend’s having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist,” suggests the collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle.
“I’m not allowed on the couch.”
03/26/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18228
An elderly couple, a priest, and a doctor walk into a bar
As they are sitting down and drinking, they eventually start talking about conception and the question of
“When does life begin”.
The priest said in the Bible states that life begins at conception Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”. This is God’s word so it is true.
The doctor looked at the priest funny and said,
“You cannot be serious, I have been in practice for years and life begins at birth when you breathe your first breath of air.”
The priest and doctor continue to argue their point and as others began to shift their attention to their conversation, the old man spoke.
“You are both wrong, my wife and I fully agree that life begins when your kids finally move out of the house”.
03/25/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18225
Alan’s wife called him as he was at in the pub last night.
“I’ve cooked dinner,” she screamed,
“And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I’m going to feed it to the dog.”
“Woooah! That’s bang out of order!”
Alan said,
“It’s not his fault.”
03/24/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18221
The pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down.
The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down.
The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
That’s what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car.
He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten.
But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.
The tree went ‘boing!’ and the kitten instantly sailed through the air – out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible.
He walked all over the neighbourhood asking people if they’d seen a little kitten.
No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten.
So he prayed, ‘Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,’ and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store and met one of his church members.
He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food.
This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?’
She replied, ‘You won’t believe this,’ and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.
Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl,
‘Well, if God gives you a cat, I’ll let you keep it.’
She told the pastor, ‘I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat.
And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes:
A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.’
Moral of the story:
Never underestimate the power of God and His unique sense of humour.