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03/23/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18218
A man prepares his donkey and dog for a long journey up a mountain.
He places a pack straddle on the donkey’s back and fills everything to maximum weight.
Because of the weight, he decides to pull the donkey along so that it does not become tired as easily.
The man, donkey, and his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get to the other side.
Hours into their long and quiet trip, the man becomes very tired.
He stops the donkey and decides that he is going to ride it.
Just as he starts to mount the donkey, out of nowhere the donkey says,
“STOP! I’m SICK OF BEING YOUR MULE! I HATE YOU! STOP USING ME!”
The man is bewildered, as he has never once before heard an animal speak, and takes off running as fast as he can back down the mountain, with the dog
right behind him.
As he gets to the bottom in record time, he stops and catches his breath.
He is beyond scared and says in a scared tone,
“Whoa, I have never heard a donkey speak before.”
The dog replies,
“Me neither.”
03/22/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18215
Husband and wife got into a spat.
so the wife called up her mom and said,
“He argued with me again, I am coming to live with you.”
Mom said,
“No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you”.
03/21/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18211
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said,”When i get to heaven i will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied,”Then you ask him.”
03/20/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18208
A small boy named Dave lived in the local village.
None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him.
“Dave… you are driving me crazy!”
One day Dave’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing.
The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career!
The mother was shocked at this feedback and withdrew her son from the school and even moved to another town!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an acute cardio disease!
All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, of which only one surgeon could perform.
Left with no other options, the teacher finally decided to have the operation, which was successful.
When she eventually opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a tall handsome Doctor smiling down at her!
She wanted to thank him, but could not talk.
Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!
The Doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw Dave, working as a cleaner in the Hospital Ward, who had unplugged
the oxygen equipment to connect his Vacuum!
Don’t tell me you thought that Dave became a doctor! Sometimes I worry about you.
03/19/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18205
A boy decides to learn the language of all animals.
– Dad, there is a school where you can learn the language of animals. Please, give me money to go there and study.
Fathers agree and give him money
After a year, the son returns home and the father decides to test his skills
-Son, did you learn the language?
-Yes father. Do you hear the cow mooing? She says that she is about to give you 10 litres of milk.
-That’s impossible, this cow can give no more than a litre.
Dad milked the cow and it actually gave him 10 litres of milk
Dad’s super confused but decided that it was a coincidence
-Do you hear that hen? She says that she is about to lay 5 eggs now
-That’s impossible, that hen has never laid any eggs before.
Dad still goes there and checks for the eggs and there actually are 5 eggs laid
Dad is confused but starts to believe his son
The second day son sees a donkey running away from his dad and hee-hawing.
Dad trying to pull up his trousers and chase the donkey and screaming to his son:
– Don’t trust this donkey, she’s lying, don’t believe it son.