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07/18/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9884
Daily Joke: I Know Exactly Where I Am en Espanol
A drunk stumbled out the door of the bar. He stood on the corner waiting for the light. He wife calls and asks if he is drunk. The man replies, “Of course not!”
Being suspicious that he is drunk, she says, “Okay then, tell me where you are and I will come and get you.”
The drunk replies, “I am at the corner of WALK and DON’T WALK!”
07/17/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9883
Daily Joke: Show Must Go On en Espanol
The circus was in town and Stanislaus and Oleg were the featured act. While Oleg walked across the high wire without a net, Stanislaus would balance on Oleg’s shoulders, all the while juggling 5 balls at once. A few minutes before they were to go on, Oleg called for the ringmaster. It seems Oleg had become deathly ill by eating some bad sushi and would have to cancel tonight’s performance.
“You’d better tell Stanislaus,” Oleg said. Walking into Stanislaus’ dressing room, the ringmaster got right to the point. “Stanislaus, I have some bad news. You won’t be doing your act tonight.”
“Why not?”
“You don’t have Oleg to stand on!”
07/16/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9882
Daily Joke: Lock Jaw en Espanol
In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town’s veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.
An agitated voice inquired, “Is your husband there?”
“He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?” the wife asked.
“Both!” was the reply. “We can’t get our dog’s mouth open, and there’s a burglar in it!”
07/15/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9881
Daily Joke: Sounds A Little Fishy en Espanol
A guy went fishing with his friend and had to ask, “Where is that new rod and reel you had the last time we went fishing? I can’t help but notice that you’re using a stick a string and a safety pin for a hook.”
His friend replied, “My wife thinks I’m wasting money so I told her I’d take the new rod and reel back if I didn’t catch a fish… any more questions?”
“Yes, why didn’t you go to the market and buy a fish to take home? If you remember that’s what I did last year so I could keep my fishing gear.”
His friend answered, “I did, but I forgot to take it out of the package!”
07/14/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9880
Daily Joke: The Artist en Espanol
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.
“Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings.”
“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”
“The gentleman was your doctor.”
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