Find any really funny jokes? Vote for them! When these jokes get a user rating above 3, they move into the general section. Your votes will make our “Best Jokes” section funnier than ever!
07/08/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9874
Daily Joke: Security Guards at Samsung Store en Espanol
What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
07/07/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9873
Daily Joke: All in the Family en Espanol
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.
“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”
“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun essayed.
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered. “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”
“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not ‘spinsters.’ They are married to God.”
“Wonderful,” said Smith. “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
07/06/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9872
Daily Joke: Addicted to Shoes en Espanol
A woman had bought lots of shoes over time and she decided it was time to kick the habit. She really took it seriously, even changing her driving route to avoid her favorite shoe store. One evening, however, she arrived home carrying a shoe box. Her husband grinned at her, but it didn’t faze her at all.
“These are very special shoes,” she explained. “I accidentally drove by the shoe store and there in the window were the most perfect shoes I’ve ever seen! I felt this was no accident, so I thought I’d let fate decide. If I would get a parking spot directly in front of the shop, the shoes were meant for me. And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!”
07/05/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9871
Daily Joke: Well I May Be Crazy en Espanol
A man driving by an insane asylum got a flat in his front right tire. He took off his tire and put the lug nuts in the wheel cover. As he rose he accidentally kicked the wheel cover and all the lug nuts went into a deep ditch. Looking in disgust he noticed an inmate at the asylum watching him through a chain link fence.
The man shouted out, “Why don’t you take a lug nut from the other three wheels and use them to replace the lug nuts you lost?”
The driver said, “That’s a great idea!”
The man replied, ” Well I may be crazy, but I am not stupid.”
07/04/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9870
Daily Joke: The Doctor Needs A Wrench en Espanol
A woman with a minor injury was at the hospital because her doctor said she wanted to take a closer look at it to make sure everything was all right. The woman’s husband sits patiently in the waiting room.
After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.
Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room, this time asking for a screwdriver. The husband grows worried and begins to pace in circles. Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer and at that, the husband, in a state of frenzied fear, runs up and asks, “Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?”
“I don’t know,” replies the flustered doctor, “I can’t get my damn bag open.”
Found this funny?
Receive a joke daily by subscribing below