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07/03/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9869
Daily Joke: DNA Sample en Espanol
“Hey Mom, my DNA sample results are back from the genealogy place. According to the report I have 44 points of Neanderthal DNA. Does that mean I’m related to a cave man?”
“Yes, dear, it’s from your father’s side of the family.”
07/02/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9868
Daily Joke: Flat Tire en Espanol
A car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. The lady driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats and appear naked to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn’t very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the lady of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What is going on here?”
“My car broke down, Officer” says the woman, calmly.
“Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!” asks the Officer.
“Well, those are my emergency flashers!” she replies.
07/01/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9867
Daily Joke: Wait Until the Baby Cries en Espanol
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 75 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 75 year old mother says, “Not yet.”
A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, “Not yet.”
Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?”
“When the baby cries.”
“Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”
The new mother says, “Because I forgot where I put it.”
06/30/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9866
Daily Joke: The Dark Tunnel en Espanol
A woman, a manager and his assistant are sitting together in a train. Suddenly, the train goes through a tunnel, and as luck would have it, the lights go out and it’s completely dark.
Then there’s this kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, the woman and the assistant are sitting as if nothing has happened and the manager has his hand against his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The manager is thinking, “My assistant must have kissed the woman and she missed him and slapped me instead.”
The woman is thinking, “The manager must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed his assistant and got slapped for it.”
And the assistant is thinking, “This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I’ll make another kissing noise and slap my boss again!”
06/29/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9865
Daily Joke: Small Shoes en Espanol
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes that are clearly undersized for him. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here that you’ll need much bigger shoes than that.”
The guy says, “That’s OK, please bring me the smaller ones.”
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, “Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?”
He says to the salesman, “I work a boring job, my mother-in-law has just moved in with us, my wife is nagging all the time, and our daughter does nothing but run around screaming the whole day. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these tight shoes.”
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