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06/13/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9849
Daily Joke: High Monkey en Espanol
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! What are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river.
The lizard climbs down the tree, walks thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?”
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with a monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey you!”
The Monkey looks down and says, “Duuuuuuuuuude…….how much water did you drink?!”
06/12/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9848
Daily Joke: The Rules of Good Sportsmanship en Espanol
The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?”
“Yes, coach”, replied the boy.
“Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?”
The boy nodded in agreement.
The coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him insulting names. Do you understand all that?”
Again, the boy nodded yes.
The coach continued, “And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach dumb, or stupid, or worse, is it?”
“No, coach.”
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your Grandmother.”
06/11/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9847
Daily Joke: Don't Forget A Bucket en Espanol
I was getting ready to go to choir practice when I heard my dad say, “Don’t forget a bucket.”
Confused, I replied, “A bucket? Why?”
“You’ll need something to help you carry a tune.”
06/10/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9846
Daily Joke: Family Pictures en Espanol
When I was a teenager, I worked as a bagger for the local supermarket. One of the rules there was baggers cannot accept tips when helping people bring groceries to their car. One day I was putting groceries in an old man’s car. When he was finished he said, “Here young man. I want you to have a picture of your uncle George.”
What it really was, was a dollar bill. Thinking quickly, I pocketed the ‘picture’. I then asked him, “Have any pictures of my grandfathers Ulysses and/or Benjamin?”
06/09/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9845
Daily Joke: Be Patient en Espanol
A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!”
The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”
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