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06/03/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9839
Daily Joke: Hold that Lantern Up en Espanol
Deep in the back woods of Tennessee, a farmer’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
“Whoa there,” said the doctor, “don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
“Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.
“No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.
The farmer scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You think it might be the light that’s attracting them?”
06/02/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9838
Daily Joke: Motherly Advice en Espanol
One week before her wedding, a mother pulls aside her daughter (and bride-to-be). She says, “I will now give you the advice that has been passed down from generation to generation, from woman to woman.”
The daughter listened attentively, curious as to what the advice would be.
The mom continued, “Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.”
06/01/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9837
Daily Joke: The Forgetful Actor en Espanol
An actor had been out of work for years because he always forgot his lines. One day he got a phone call from a director who wanted him for an important part in a play.
All the actor had to say was, “Hark! I hear the cannon roar!”
Opening night arrived, and while he waited in the wings, the actor muttered to himself, “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! Hark! I hear the cannon roar!”
The time for the entrance finally came. As the actor made his appearance onstage, he heard a loud BOOOOM! He turned around and said, “What the heck was that?”
05/31/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9836
Daily Joke: Who Gets What? en Espanol
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her math classes:
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom, little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, little Morris answered, “A good lawyer.”
05/30/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9835
Daily Joke: The Third One Is A Tough One en Espanol
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. “Make three wishes,” she told her mother, “and I’ll grant them.”
Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.
Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.
The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, “I wish to have a trim figure again.”
The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. “I’ll need more power for this one!” she exclaimed.
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