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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend. “I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”
“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, three doctors are there already!”
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
I think my friend is dead! he yells. What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, Okay, now what?
Son: Dad, I want to get married.
Father: First, tell me you’re sorry.
Son: For what?
Father: Say sorry.
Son: But for what ? What did I do?
Father: Just say sorry.
Son: But…what have i done wrong ?
Father: Say sorry!
Son: WHY?
Father: Say sorry!!
Son: Please, just tell me why?
Father: Say sorry!!!
Son: OK, Dad…i’m sorry!
Father: There ! You’re finished training. When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all, then you’re ready to get married!
Joey goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Hello, could you give me condom please? I’m going to my girlfriend’s place for dinner and I think I may be getting lucky tonight.”
The Pharmacist gives him the condom but as soon as he does Joey tells him, “Give me another condom because my girlfriends sister is also very cute too and always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when I am around, I think I might get lucky with her too.”
The Pharmacist gives him another condom and as he was about to leave Joey returned and requested for a third.
“My girlfriend’s mom is really cute and she always makes eye contact when I’m around and since she invited me for dinner I think she might be expecting me to make a move.”
During the dinner Joey sits down with his girlfriend on the right, her sister on the left and her mom facing him. When the dad walks in. Joey lowers his head and starts the dinner prayer.
“Dear Lord bless this dinner and thank you for all you’ve given us…” Ten minutes later Joey is still praying. His girlfriend now surprised gets close to him and whispers, “I didn’t know you where this religious.”
Joey with his head still bowed in prayer replied “I never knew your dad was a Pharmacist!”
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