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11/27/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9643
Daily Joke: Would you? en Espanol
An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong.
She said, “I had a dream that I died and you got remarried.” She asked him, “If I died tomorrow would you get remarried?”
He said, “Sure, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life lonely.”
Then she asked, “Well would you two live in this house?”
“Sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage.”
She asked again, angry now “well would she sleep in this bed?”
He snickered and said, “Yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there’s no reason to get rid of it.”
She asked irately, “Well would she use my golf clubs?”
He replied with a straight, serious face “No. She’s left handed.”
11/26/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9642
Daily Joke: The blonde Thanksgiving dinner en Espanol
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.
“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
11/25/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9641
Daily Joke: Ma and Pa en Espanol
One day an old lady and an old man were sitting on their porch when the old lady says “Hey pa, why don’t you run down to the restaurant and get us some ice cream.”
Pa said, “Ok I will go right now.”
Ma told him that she had better write it down for him, because he always forgets.
He said no he would be fine, so off he went to the restaurant.
When he got back he handed her a hamburger and she said “Dang it pa, I knew you would forget, I told you to get mustard on mine!”
11/24/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9640
Daily Joke: Alligator Shoes en Espanol
An Antartian goes into a souvenir shop and asks the man at the counter if he has any alligator skin shoes.
The man said, “Yes, right over there on the shelf.”
He walks over to the shelf and then back to the counter where the shop owner was sitting and says, “The shoes cost too much.”
The shop owner says, “Well, go and see if you can find some cheaper.”
The Antartian leaves the store.
The shop owner, on his way home, notices a dead alligator by the swamp. He pulls over, walks to the swamp and notices the Antartian standing in the middle of the swamp. The man asks him what he is doing in the swamp; about that time the shop owner sees a giant alligator coming up behind the Antartian.
The alligator and the man go under the water. The Antartian comes up and drags the alligator to the shore. He looks at the alligator’s feet and says, “This one doesn’t have any shoes either.”
11/23/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9639
Daily Joke: IRS Auditor en Espanol
Answering the phone, the priest was surprised to hear the caller introduce herself as an IRS auditor.
“But we do not pay taxes,” the priest said.
“It isn’t you, Father, it’s one of your parishioner, Sean McCullough. He indicates on his tax return that he gave a donation of $15,000 to the church last year. Is this, in fact, the truth?”
The priest smiled broadly. “The check hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m sure I’ll have it when I remind dear Sean.”
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