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11/17/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9633
Daily Joke: Credit Card Spending en Espanol
A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”
“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.”
“Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative.
The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”
11/16/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9632
Daily Joke: The Smartest Dog Ever en Espanol
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.”
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the “stop” button, then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap! – Against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.
The butcher runs up screams at the guy: “What the hell are you doing? This dog’s a genius!”
The owner responds, “Genius, no way! It’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!”
11/15/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9631
Daily Joke: Lucky number 7 en Espanol
After leaving the racetrack Bill bumped into his old friend Peter on the bus.
“Say,” Peter said, “How’s it going?” “Going? You want to hear one of the most amazing things that ever happened? Tell me- what’s today’s date?”
“July seventh.”
“Right. The seventh day, of the seventh month. I go to the track at seven minutes past seven. My son is seven years old today, and we live at number seven, Seventh Avenue.”
“Let me guess,” Peter interrupted. “You put everything you had on the seventh horse in the seventh race.” “Right.”
“And he won!” Peter sighed.
“No. He came in seventh.”
11/14/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9630
Daily Joke: No more heckling en Espanol
Heckling in the courtroom had constantly interrupted the trial, and the judge had had enough.
“The next person who interrupts the proceeding will be thrown out of my court!” he said severely, at which the defendant yelled, “Hooray!”
11/13/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9629
Daily Joke: In Memory Of en Espanol
A man playing golf by himself at Pebble Beach was teamed with a twosome. After a few holes, the twosome finally asked why he was playing such a beautiful course by himself.
He replied that he & his wife had played the course every year for over 20 years, but this year she had passed away and he kept the tee time in her memory.
The twosome commented that they thought certainly someone would have been willing to take her spot.
“So did I” he said, “but they all wanted to go to the funeral.”
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