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11/22/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9638
Daily Joke: Drunks en Espanol
Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden the driver notices lights flashing in his mirror; the cops are on his tail.
His buddy says, “What are we going to do?”
The driver says, “Don’t worry. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, peel the labels off our beer bottles and we’ll each stick one on our forehead. Then shove the bottles underneath the seat, and let me do the talking.”
They pull over and the cop walks up to the car. He looks at them kind of funny, but asks to see the guy’s driver’s license. And he asks him, “Have you been drinking?”
“Oh, no, sir,” the driver replies.
“I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you *sure* you haven’t been drinking?” the cop asks.
“Oh, no, sir,” the drunk answers. “We haven’t had a thing to drink tonight.”
“Well, I’ve got to ask you,” says the cop, “What on earth are those things on your forehead?”
“That’s easy, Officer,” says the drunk. “You see, we’re both alcoholics, and we’re on the patch.”
11/21/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9637
Daily Joke: Lazy Husband en Espanol
“I`m ashamed of the way we live,” wife said to her lazy husband, our Santa, who refused to find a job.
“My father pays our rent, my mother buys all of our food, my sister buys our clothes, my aunt bought us a car. I`m just so ashamed.”
Santa rolled over on the couch. “You should be ashamed,” he agreed. “Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a thing!”
11/20/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9636
Daily Joke: Inherit a Fortune en Espanol
Joe was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will pass, and I’ll inherit his large fortune.”
Impressed, the woman took his business card and three months later, she became Joe’s stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men!!
11/19/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9635
Daily Joke: My Hero en Espanol
Son: Dad You Are My Hero.
Dad: Really!
Son: Yes.
Son: Can You Give Me An Autograph With Your Eyes Closed?
Dad: Well, Yes.
Son: Then Sign My Report Card With Your Eyes Closed.
11/18/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9634
Daily Joke: Broken Engagement en Espanol
Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement.
“Yeah,” said Rob, “would you marry someone who didn’t know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?”
“No way in hell” said the bartender.
“Well, said Rob, “neither would my fiancée.”
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