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11/12/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9628
Daily Joke: How to get in en Espanol
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. “I got a wife and three kids and I’d love to have you visit us.”
“Great. Where do you live?”
“Here’s the address. And there’s plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I’ll let you in.”
“Good. But tell me…what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?”
“Surely, you’re not coming empty-handed.”
11/11/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9627
Daily Joke: 4 Fans en Espanol
4 baseball fans want to show their teams that they’re each the biggest fans in the world, so they decide to climb the biggest mountain they can find.
The first one to the top is a Braves fan, and he says, “I’m the biggest fan in the world! This is for you Braves!” and he jumps off.
The second one to the top is a Mets fan and he says, “I love you more than anything Mets, this is for you!” and he jumps off.
The last 2 people who get to the top get there at the same time. One is a Red Sox fan and one is a Yankee fan. When they’re both standing at the top together, the Red Sox fan says, “This one is for all baseball fans everywhere!”
And the Red Sox fan pushes the Yankee fan off.
11/10/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9626
Daily Joke: Grammar Lesson en Espanol
In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.”
Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.”
“Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?”
“To get the best mark possible,” said Paul.
11/09/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9625
Daily Joke: Pool full of sharks en Espanol
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
“I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool.”
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, “I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?”
The guy grabs the microphone and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!”
11/08/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9624
Daily Joke: What interests you? en Espanol
A high school student is in the counselor’s office.
“So tell me, what things interest you?
“I’d like to cut people open and run my fingers through their liver and heart!”
The counselor chuckle and after a long pause says, “Well, I guess that means you’ll either be a surgeon or psychotic killer. Tell me more about yourself.”
The student paused for a minute and said; “Well, to start with, I’m never wrong.” “Other people adore me and do exactly as I say…or if they don’t, they should.”
The counselor smiles and says; “Surgeon it is!”
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