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01/26/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9327
Daily Joke: Confuse traffic signs en Espanol
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?”
Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.”
Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!
Sister: Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be more careful.
At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.
Cop: Excuse me, Sister, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something terrible.
Sister: Oh, we just got off of highway 119.
01/26/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9326
Daily Joke: Just Kidding en Espanol
Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
01/25/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9325
Daily Joke: Boat troubles en Espanol
During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.
After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.
Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.
01/24/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9324
Daily Joke: The New Priest en Espanol
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions for the first time, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.
The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, “Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand.”
The new priest tries this.
The old priest suggests, “Try saying things like, ‘I see,’ ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.’ ‘How did you feel about that?’”
The new priest says those things.
The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, ‘No shit?!? What happened next?’”
01/23/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9323
Daily Joke: Dead Donkey en Espanol
A man named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died.”
“Well then, just give me my money back.”
“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
“OK then, just unload the donkey.”
“What ya gonna do with em.”
“I’m gonna raffle him off.”
“Ya can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”
“Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anyone he’s dead.”
A month later the farmer met up with the man and asked, “What happened with the dead donkey?”
“I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 apiece and made a profit of $898.00.”
“Didn’t anyone complain?”
“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2.00 back.”
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