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08/12/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9159
Daily Joke: Young Wife en Espanol
A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25 year old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Aruba but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalized. When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, “Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You’ll never need to worry about money.” “Oh, sweetheart, please don’t talk that way,” his young wife exclaimed. “You’ve been so good to me already. If you go, I’ll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you. Please….tell me what I can do?”
“Well,” the old man gasped, “you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters.”
08/11/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9158
Daily Joke: Speeding en Espanol
A man was driving a rig in a long line of tractor-trailers when a police officer pulled him over for speeding. Astounded that he alone was caught, he asked, “Out of all these trucks that were going just as fast as I was, why did you pull me over?”
“Have you ever gone fishing?” the officer asked.
“Yes,” Walt replied.
“Well, have you ever caught all the fish in the pond?”
08/10/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9157
Daily Joke: Woman en Espanol
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
“How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?” To which he replied. “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
08/09/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9156
Daily Joke: Legal Action en Espanol
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?”
The judge said that was true. “Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?” the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson.”
08/08/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9155
Daily Joke: A Jealous Husband en Espanol
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife’s activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
“I just can’t believe this,” the distraught husband said.
The detective said, “What’s not to believe? It’s right up there on the screen!”
The husband replied, “I can’t believe that my wife could be so much fun!”
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