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08/07/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9154
Daily Joke: Checkup en Espanol
A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, “You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you’re doing?”
She says, “I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year old.” She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, “Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45-year-old ass?”
“Your name never came up, ” she replied.
08/06/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9153
Daily Joke: Oh My God en Espanol
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight #293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. So set back and relax – OH MY GOD!”
Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants.”
A passenger in coach said, “THAT’S NOTHING. He should see the back of mine.”
08/05/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9152
Daily Joke: Limping en Espanol
When I got to work Monday, I was limping somewhat noticeably. My boss noticed and asked me what had happened.
I told him, “Oh, nothing. It’s just an old football injury that acts up once in a while.”
My boss eyed me suspiciously and said, “Gee, I never knew you played football.”
I said, “Well, I don’t. I hurt it yesterday when I lost $100 on New York Jets. I put my foot through the television…”
08/04/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9151
Daily Joke: Cheap Boyfriend en Espanol
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. “What I mean,” said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”
The clerk handed him a mirror.
08/03/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9150
Daily Joke: Sunburn en Espanol
He goes to the hospital, and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, says, “What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?”
The doctor replied, “It’ll keep the sheets off his legs.”
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