Find any really funny jokes? Vote for them! When these jokes get a user rating above 3, they move into the general section. Your votes will make our “Best Jokes” section funnier than ever!
03/24/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9015
Daily Joke: A Natural Process en Espanol
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
“I have just the thing,” says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?”
“No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”
03/23/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9014
Daily Joke: I'll use my seeing eye dog en Espanol
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what’s going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, “Pardon me. May I help you with something.”
The blind man says, “No thanks. I’m just looking around.”
03/22/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9013
Daily Joke: Man-Making Contest en Espanol
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don’t you just go on and get lost.”
God listened patiently to the man and after the scientist was done talking, God said, “Very well! How about this? Let’s have a man-making contest.”
The man replied, “Okay, great!”
But God added, “Now we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam.”
The scientist said, “Sure, no problem.” He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God just looked at him and said, “No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!”
03/21/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9012
Daily Joke: Brain Food en Espanol
A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.
“Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?”
“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear. “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”
“You sell them here?” the customer asks.
“Only $4 apiece,” says Morris.
The customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t any smarter.
“You didn’t eat enough, ” says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.
“Hey, Green,” he says, “You’re selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You’re ripping me off!”
“You see?” says Morris. “You’re smarter already.”
03/20/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9011
Daily Joke: Lost Wife en Espanol
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” the woman asked.
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
Found this funny?
Receive a joke daily by subscribing below