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03/09/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9000
Daily Joke: Inspecting Dead Bodies en Espanol
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.
A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body. “Englishman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector”, says the Coroner.
The DI is taken to the second dead man.
“Scotsman, 25, won ten thousand on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
“Nothing unusual here”, thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.
“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one. Irishman, 30, struck by lightning.
“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.
To which the coroner replies : “Thought he was having his picture taken.”
03/08/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8999
Daily Joke: That Time Of The Month en Espanol
One night, a guy walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a
drink. Then he asked for another. After a couple more drinks,
the bartender got worried.
“What’s the matter?” the bartender asked.
“My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy, “and she
vowed not to talk to me for 31 days . . .”
He took another drink, and said, “And tonight is the last night.”
03/07/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8998
Daily Joke: General Nuisance en Espanol
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. “Excuse me, General,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.”
03/06/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8997
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage.
If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.
This has been a recorded announcement.”
03/05/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8996
Daily Joke: Letter Home From School en Espanol
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Reply from dad…
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
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