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08/08/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8786
Daily Joke: Cuckoo Clock en Espanol
At about 3 a.m., a guy was drunk as a skunk. He came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, he cuckooed nine more times, hoping his wife would think it was midnight.
He was very proud of himself.
The next day, his wife asked what time he got home, and he replied, “Midnight, just like I said.”
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When he asked why, she answered, “Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said ‘Crap!,’ cuckooed one more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.”
08/07/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8785
Daily Joke: Weather Forecast en Espanol
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. “There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.” Ole got up from his coffee and replies “Jeez, OK.”
Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, “There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets.” Ole got up from his coffee and replies, “Jeez, OK.”
Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, “There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the…” and then the power went out and Ole didn’t get the rest of the instructions. He says to Lena, “Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?” Lena replies, “Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage.”
08/06/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8784
Daily Joke: A Honeymoon Couple en Espanol
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned, and asks, “What if the place is still bugged?”
The groom says, “I’ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally, he says, “AHA!” Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, “How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?”
The groom says, “Why are you asking me all of these questions?”
The hotel manager says, “Well, the couple in the room UNDER you complained that the chandelier fell on them.”
08/05/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8783
Daily Joke: Sense Of Humor en Espanol
A wife asked her husband:
“What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
“I like your sense of humor.”
08/04/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8782
Daily Joke: Lawyer en Espanol
There is a truck driver driving along, and he stops and picks up a priest to give him a ride.
He’s driving down the highway and he sees a lawyer along the side of the road and thinks, “Hot damn! A lawyer that I could run over!” So he speeds up and heads straight for him.
At the last second he remembers the priest with him. So he swerves real quick to miss him, but still hears a thump. He looks behind, no sign of the lawyer.
He says to the priest “Wow, that was a close one, I almost hit that lawyer!”
The priest then replies “That’s ok son, I got him with my door.”
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