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05/24/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9829
Daily Joke: A Duck, A Buck, and A Skunk en Espanol
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. “I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.”
“I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer.
“Then the duck’ll have to pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent.”
05/23/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9828
Daily Joke: Retirement Dollars en Espanol
Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Shirley says, “Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?”
Abe says, “I don’t care.”
A few minutes later Shirley says, “Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?”
Abe says, “Your choice.”
A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, “Abe, love, shall I wear my five-carat pearl diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?”
Abe says, “Shirley, I really don’t care what you wear, but if you don’t get moving, we’re going to miss the Early Bird Special.”
05/22/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9827
Daily Joke: Babysitting & Fishing en Espanol
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
“I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!”
“Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,” his mother said.
The boy said, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait.”
05/21/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9826
Daily Joke: Ask the Salesman en Espanol
My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.
“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “which would you get?”
“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”
05/20/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9825
Daily Joke: Landing Check en Espanol
I was inspecting a communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm.
“I wonder why he didn’t land,” I said.
“He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed,” the man said.
As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. “It looks plowed to me,” I commented.
“No,” my seat mate said. “It hasn’t been cleared for some time.”
“How can you tell?” I asked.
“Because,” the man informed me, “I’m the guy who drives the plow.”
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