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03/31/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9394
Daily Joke: Babies en Espanol
My five year old daughter asked me the question I’d been dreading. “Mommy , how are babies made?” I did my best to explain but she still looked confused.
“What about kittens? She asked.
“Well it’s exactly the same way, ” I said.
“Wow!” she said excitedly. “My daddy can do anything!”
03/29/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9393
Daily Joke: Office Manager en Espanol
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What’s your name?” he asked the new guy.
“John,” the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … That’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”
“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . “
03/28/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9392
Daily Joke: Circle Flies en Espanol
After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn’t know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible.
He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?”
The trooper paused to take another swat and said, “Well, yes, if that’s what they are. I’ve never heard of circle flies.”
The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. “Circle flies are common on farms. They’re called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse.”
The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says, “Hey, are you trying to call me a horse’s behind?”
“Oh no, officer.” The farmer replies. “I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that.”
“That’s a good thing,” the officer says rudely, then goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer added, “Hard to fool them flies, though.”
03/27/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9391
Daily Joke: Real Smart en Espanol
This one happened few years ago in Switzerland: A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and – while the photographer developed the pictures – he took off with the cash register.
Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself.
03/26/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9390
Daily Joke: The Conch Light en Espanol
In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale it was the first thing she put out.
I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it out then finally bought it. “That will look great in your home,” I said.
“Oh it is not for me,” she explained. “My bridge club is having a charity auction and we were asked to bring in the most hideous thing we can find. What I’ve got here is a winner.”
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