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Two blondes were in the parking lot beside their car. They had locked themselves out, so one was trying to open the door with a coat hanger. She says: ” This isn’t working!” And the other blonde says: ” Well, we better think of something, because it’s starting to rain and the top’s down.”
An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, “I want to impress a beautiful young girl. Which machine should I use?” The trainer replied, “Use the ATM machine outside!”
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached recently by a game warden in Central Mississippi as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing license please?” “Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don’t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.” “Pet fish?” “Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o’mine down to the lake and let ’em swim ’round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take ’em home.” “What a line…you’re under arrest.” The redneck said, “It’s the truth, Mr. Gov’ment Man. I’ll show ya! We do this all the time!” “WE do, now, do WE?” smirked the warden. “PROVE it!” The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After a few minutes, the warden said, “Well?” “Well, WHUT?” said the redneck. The warden asked, “When are you going to call them back?” “Call who back?” “The FISH,” replied the warden! “Whut fish?” asked the redneck.
Cathouse on hill; one man going to, one man at, one man leaving. Name nationality of the men. one going to-russian, one at-himalaing, one leaving-finous.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends
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